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January, 2008 A monograph of six related
articles, entitled: |
The Need for Chinese Cultural Support for Our Children
| While the adoption literature is in agreement that it is important to support the aspect of the adopted child's identity related to her ethnic and cultural heritage, not all adoptive parents have grasped this commitment, as may be seen in the following summary of a view offered by a China-adoptive parent recently in an Internet group discussion on the subject. |
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What's wrong with this picture? Nothing is wrong with it as a general view of how things are (in the U.S.). What is wrong, however, is the assumption that our adopted Chinese children fit into this picture on the same terms as everyone else there. The immigrants--ourselves, by the terms of this discussion--in the picture can afford to be casual about their history because not only do they know what it is, but also, they are surrounded by some--often many--of the others with whom they grew up (family, acquaintances) who know and share their personal and family or clan history. They also have enough information to be able to find out more about past generations of their relatives if they care to pursue the inquiry. In contrast, the Chinese immigrant children in our families typically do not have personal information that goes even as far back as birth unless it is simply a record of a date and place. Nevertheless, being Chinese will always be part of the child's identity and needs to be affirmed. Once we adoptive parents recognize the importance of helping the child feel both familiar and comfortable with her Chinese heritage, we need to find a balanced way to provide this help. Too much emphasis on things Chinese and being Chinese is likely to create, in the child, feelings of exclusion or being different; too little attention to things/being Chinese is likely to create the impression that this aspect of the child's identity is not valued nor an appropriate subject for discussion. A future China Connection issue will discuss particular ways in which parents can support the Chinese aspect of their child's identity. In the meantime, parents may be encouraged at the thought that in the child's first three or so years, talk, including reading children's books, will probably suffice--assuming the parent has the right attitude--though enhancements would include artifacts, music, and making the acquaintance of local Chinese. Much depends upon one's local resources, but when parents see the child's need for their support, the means may become easier to find. -Bob C. |